Pathmavathi Varadarajulu

Two days after I landed in America, I walked into Lone Star College–CyFair grounds to register for Fall Semester 2005.  As I stood gazing at the river, my mind a tumult of doubts and fears, the gurgling water reminded me of my home by the beach and loved ones left behind, comforting me and making me homesick at the same time. Fighting back tears, I resolutely strode into the building and registered myself into a new way of life.

Circumstances had compelled me to seek college education at a time when I should be preparing for retirement, and it was most discouraging to be told that the course I was interested in was not open to me because of my age. In desperation, I looked beyond my country, and I believe providence brought me to Lone Star College–CyFair. The consultant at the American Education Center had said, “In America, it does not matter what age, size, shape, or color you are – all you need is the desire to study.” Not only do I have the desire to study, but I want to excel, and I am grateful that Cy-Fair opened its arms and admitted me into its world unconditionally, and is setting me on the path to a better future.

However, I started my first semester at Cy-fair beset with self-doubts and anxiety. I did not relish the prospect of sitting next to students young enough to be my children for I could not help thinking that I would never be able to keep up with their bright, young minds. Academically speaking, I considered myself way down the scale compared to them. It did not make things easier, either, to note that some of my professors were much younger than me. I felt so out of place, and wondered if I had done the right thing by coming to college.

Nevertheless, spurred by family encouragement and the power of prayer, I immersed myself into the role of student. Instead of focusing on my fears, I looked to see how Lone Star College–CyFair could help me in achieving my goal. One of the most positive things that happened was that I lost my “phobia” for Mathematics. With her patient and methodical teaching, Mrs Patil helped to remove the mental block I had against this subject, and though I still eye it warily, it has lost its dreaded sting.
 
I find my other professors at Cy-Fair encouraging and helpful as well as they guide me through the intricacies of essays, psychology and philosopy. It is such a refreshing change to have professors who treat you as equals compared to my high school days where one was afraid to speak up.

As I got engrossed in my classes, I noticed the gradual change in me. Yes, life has become more stressful with having to meet deadlines and juggling various projects while simultaneously monitoring my sons’ progress in school, but I realize that I am actually enjoying the challenge of exams and assignments. I am thrilled at my grades and am now aware that I had underestimated myself.
 
If you ask me what Lone Star College–CyFair has done for me, I would say that it has helped me to discover a long-forgotten part of me. As long as I remember, my roles as daughter, sister, wife and mother had defined me. College is now unlocking the doors to a new me – a person lurking deep within me, vaguely familiar but pushed to the back and lost in the dim past as I fulfilled my various roles. Like a hibernating bear waking up in spring, my erstwhile rusty mind flexes its muscles, eager to explore and learn. I feel young again!
     
No, it does not bother me any more to sit next to my nineteen year old classmate for I am in no way inferior to her. I admit that I have to work extra hard to achieve the excellence that I crave, but the process exhilarates me and reminds me that age really does not matter where there is a will. Thank you, Cy-Fair, for showing me the way.